A poem about, well, people

Once a person helped me, and I tried to help them too

Once a person hurt me, and I knew not what to do

Once a person loved me, and I tried to love them too 

Once a person left me, and cry all I could do 

People have a heartbeat

People can breathe deep 

People inhale softly 

People don’t think when they speak 

Person sitting in the corner

Person in the crowd

Person leaning on my shoulder

Person in the shroud

Laughing woman at the party

Crying children in the dark 

Smiling man on a rollercoaster 

Hurting human in her sleep

Every person made by Jesus 

All made to be loved 

Even those who tore our souls

And those who slit our throats  

Happy people

Yelling people 

Bleeding people 

Caring people 

Let us learn to love the people 

And maybe love us too 

For God so died to save the people 

Counting me and you 

Living / Dying

Inspired by the words of Jesus in Mark 8:31-38

Therein the act of living,

A choice we face each day

Will we choose to die to self 

Or self do we obey? 

The answer seems foreboding 

I know what I must choose.

Our Master points the way so clear

We’ve everything to lose. 

Inside our hearts beat vying 

To own our weary souls

Guiding to the darkest lusts

And making spirits dull.

Self worship’s lips stand lying

With words of sin and pride.  

Infected claims of tainted hope 

Now slaughter us inside. 

There’s wholeness in our dying 

When self is thrown away  

When everything we thought we lost

Is gained another way.

The paradox of suff’ring

Where trials have their place

To shape our aching heartbeats

And to point us to His grace. 

Let dying be our living; 

Let Him open up our eyes 

To a world with hope unending

Where His kingdom is our prize. 

Silence (Nothing)

Responding to the suffering in the ER, and life in general – Emergency: Part Four

Face to face with suffering

Time to confront grief

Nothing here but silence

Nothing left to see 

And if I try to listen 

To the preaching from my seat

Processing is nothing 

And silence comforts me

Can one tear suffice thinking

Could words learn to forgive

If I chose to be silent 

When there’s nothing left to give?

Ask me now what words I feel  

But nothing dwells inside 

Silence is the best of me

The refuge where I hide 

Christ exists in silence

If I listen to Him speak

Nothing here will fill me

When Him I learn to seek 

Will one tear suffice thinking

Will words learn to forgive

If I choose to be silent 

When there’s nothing left to give?

Nothing left for me to do 

But sit here at His feet

Nothing words could ever tell 

When silence comforts me 

Learning slow how silence proves 

The end of self is Him 

I will not fear if all I give

Is nothing from within 

One tear will suffice thinking

Words will learn to forgive

As I choose to be silent 

When there’s nothing left to give


Emergency: Part Three

They told me

I needed to be organized

     So I tried to be organized – except!

Nothing changed. 

            I was helped 

And I think I learned how 

     To adapt 

         So I made myself a motto 

   “It’s ok, I’ll figure it out” 

      So, I went to the med room 

To let just three tears slip 

           As I tried to focus – but 

My patient yelled

               And one paced  

     In the hallway, screaming out


        And my preceptor asked me 

   “Will you be able to be organized?” 


My lungs worked rhythmically 

     Enough to take a breath – and then! 

My heart broke 

             As I realized 

   My sweet patient’s daughter 

         Had died 

            So, I tried to refocus and pray

       “Lord, at least help me to love” 

              It’s hard to love 

 While trying to be organized 

       For one moment I was fine – until! 

  A patient couldn’t cope 

              One couldn’t walk 

    And while I went to get a blood draw 

           One seized 

        And still, in the meantime, another asked 

    “Why can’t you help me?”

            Then, because I 

 Admitted to my preceptor 

           I needed help focusing – suddenly! 

I was being watched 

               And being timed

Carefully, I counted the minutes 

      Ten minutes 

   To place an IV and assess, so I said  

 “This will be possible” 

            Then somehow 

It was end of the shift 

        And in a span of – 12 hours!

God had taught me 


Being reminded of His strength 

      Is beautiful  

   And in my weakness 

“[His] grace is sufficient” 

            I truly love 

The emergency room 

           Because in its halls – full of despair!

     God always shows up 

         And crucified 

Become my abilities 

     As I learn to concentrate 

    On the reality of what He told me 

  “Just trust Me in the tension” 


And Emergency: Part Two

We walk quickly

Down the hallways 

In the absence of


Is it possible, still 

To hear you?

We walk into

curtained rooms

In the presence of…


So hard, it seems,

To see you

We kneel on the

Blood-stained floors 

As you call out – 


Your pain, we try

To feel you

We sit at our

Small, wheeled desks 

And still we smell the

Dying – 

Of dreams, so quick 

To flee you

Yet as I walk

These hallways 

In the absence of 

Silence – 

Your heartbeat, still

I hear you

And Christ will walk

Besides me

And we will taste His


My patient, friend 

He’s with you 

Photo credit: https://www.statnews.com/2020/01/24/patients-restrained-in-the-er/


2 Corinthians 5:17-19
And for the amazing woman who called me several months ago to share this verse, I believe you know who you are. Thank you ❤

We are vessels 

Of broken glass 

Conduits of grace

How He uses,

Solely chooses 

Moments – not a waste 

Fragile vessels

Prone to breaking 

Shattering at will 

Stronger Healer 

Still He chooses 

Vessels to be filled 

Grace and mercy 

Love and justice 

Speaking to the poor 

He’s still moving 

Love providing

Still an open door

God please use 

Our blood-stained vessels 

Prone to breaking glass

And draw us closer

Backs towards sinning 

Love to shine outlast 

Photo credit: Franklin Institute. As shown on https://www.firstpost.com/tech/news-analysis/new-smartphone-app-can-help-detect-anaemia-without-the-need-of-a-blood-test-5685521.html

“My City”

Inspired by Brandon Heath’s song, “Give Me Your Eyes,” Andrew Peterson’s “Everybody’s Got a Song,” and the recent mass shooting in my hometown.

I never loved you enough,

My city. 

I spent too long, 


I was somewhere else. 

Until I got to know you. 

My people. 

I started to learn, 


In my home.

You were always here 

My childhood.

You raised me,


As a friend.

And then I left you. 

My goodbye. 

My college travels, 


I thought away. 

And then I realized 

My mistake,

My loving city


Me back home. 

I woke up, city

My horror. 

What happened to you?


Blood on your streets. 

I’ll cry too. 

My city. 

I spent too long, 


I was somewhere else.

Forgive me, 

My people. 

Who raised me, 


Is what I must do. 

“Help My Unbelief”

A poem about life from the words of a father penned in Mark 9:24

Dear Lord,

Do you remember when 

You showed me how to trust You

In the midst of a nightmare? 

Do you remember how 

You taught me to find

joy in the spinning…

Hell. Objectively good and yet somehow

A trauma inside my mind



Enough of that!

Dear Lord,

Help my unbelief. You showed me how

To live beyond circumstances

And to find joy in pain. 

And now, 


Somehow, here I am. 

And there is no joy to find. 

Because joy is all around!

Joy is everywhere now. 

No conjuring and no striving just


Dear Lord,

Why is it good? I learned over the years

 – not from You – 

To believe I don’t deserve 

Happiness –

Or at least the kind 

that comes from external gifts

And yet, here they are.


Everywhere! How can I… 

Lord! Forgive me. 

I believe, but

Help my unbelief.

Dear Lord,

But why?

You did say that everything 

Works together for those

Who love You  

But I don’t deserve this good. 

No, not the conversations

At the café.

Not the church, not the friendships, 

Not the youth group, not the preceptor, 

Not the job, not the absence of…


Lord! Who am I to tell You what I need?

Lord, I believe but

Help my unbelief.

Dear Lord,

Help my unbelief!

You are good and I see that now,

I confess what I did not allow

Myself to believe was real – 

Love, joy, peace, patience, 

Kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 

Gentleness, self-control… 

They are 


Yes, You in your beautiful

And divine providence

Used my fear but the fear itself

Not you! 

Oh Lord, I believe 

But please, help my unbelief!

Dear Lord,

You. Are. Lord.

Sovereign beauty

In the good and the bad

Perfect Savior

In the clouds and in the clear

My precious Savior, forgive me. 

And please, 

Help my unbelief.

Reflections from My Window Seat

On My Time at New City Cafe

In this café, here I sit 

Strangers once were we

People wave and people stay

And people talk to me

I say “my name is Kayla 

It’s just my first time here 

I want to know your story” – 

They tell me with no fear!

In my dreams this place exist’d

A place where people grow 

Where coffee brews and people sit 

And souls do overflow 

Christ is in the background here

And Christ is in the walls 

I can feel Christ’s presence here 

And I can hear his call 

In my life now this exists

Sole purpose not for me 

But for the people all around 

And for to set them free 

In the Absence

“For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.” – 1 Corinthians 1:17

I have found the Breath of Life

Of Whom few words resound 

That scare tell of His mighty love

Which set me back around

To pictures tongues cannot suffice

Nor pen nor pencil tell 

Though etches vie – for Him, to show! –

His presence solely quells 

The searches of our aching hearts

The weeping of our souls 

And with no phrase our mind could hear

He made our living whole

So find me in the absence 

Of what is understood

He’ll meet you on the outskirts 

Of what you said He could

We’ll find Him in our beating hearts

Our souls now overflow’d 

Where minds won’t vie to demonstrate 

His power – precious so